It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I don't think it went where I wanted. I may return to this at a later date and try again.
The Telephone Number of the Broad.
There's a beardy big-boned gamer in the heart of Dundee town,
There's a little Uni Club where he plays;
There's a small group of people who think he acts the clown,
And the big-boned gamer forever fits cliches.
He was known as "Big Bad Brad" by the folks in Dundee town,
He was dafter than they felt inclined to tell;
And for all his foolish pranks, he was welcomed in the ranks,
But he had yet to find the woman who rang his bell.
He had searched for her all along, with a hope with a hope that was going wrong,
The fact that he was tragic was plain to all.
He was nearly thirty-one and the arrangements that had begun
To celebrate Valentine's began to pall.
They wondered what they should do for poor old Big Bad Brad;
They met next evening as he ran his game;
And jestingly they thought that it wouldn't be too bad
If they went out and organised a dame.
All throughout the day, Big Bad Brad dwindled away,
And they harassed him to go out to a club:
But for once he failed to smile, and he sat alone awhile,
And drowned his sorrows with a good cabernet.
He returned before the dawn, with his shirt and trousers torn,
And a gash across his temple dripping red;
He was bundled home right away, and he slept through all the day,
With a large hold-all resting beside his bed.
He woke at last and asked if they could send his trousers through;
They brought it, and he thanked them with a nod;
He bade them search the pocket saying "That's for Big Bad Brad,"
And they found the little 'phone number of the broad.
They congratulated Big Bad Brad in the way that gamers had,
And hoped for his sake that it was a friendly gamerette;
But they shook their heads and left, for of luck he was bereft
And he was alone with the number he'd chanced his life to get.
When the party was at its height, on that still and freezing night,
They wondered where he was and called his name;
As they walked along the hall she could hear the screaming call
Of "Star Wars" clearly blasting thro' the gloom.
His door was open wide, and his screams were raving mad;
The place was wet and sticky where they trod;
A layer of tar covered the room and all over Big Bad Brad,
'Twas the "Vengeance of the Boy Friend of the Broad."
There's a beardy big-boned gamer in the heart of Dundee town,
There's a little Uni Club where he plays;
There's a small group of people who think he acts the clown,
And the big-boned gamer forever fits cliches.
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Saturday, February 14, 2004
Shameless plagiarism
Saw this on Slacker's Blog. Had to pinch it...
Anti-Valentine's Day
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Anti-Valentine's Day
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Valentine's Day
&%£%$"(%*(^%&($% YT%^£$^%^£$*&$ &($&^$&(^$&($ £$^!*&^*&*^$%^"£ *OTP(&^^*$R~@~@~}{*$^£ I%E$^£%£"&^%&£^$! &$(&%$&^$&^!!!!
^$££%"&%£@:~@}{^$£&£&¬¬&*^%&^$*& O*^%&$*%£^*%(*^(&$*^%$()+* &^%&*%£$%^*£^*$£^*%£ O&*R^&(^()*@~@:~)*(&%&(%$^*%££$! &$%&$*%^$*%&$*())&O&*%%^£ *&%$!!??????
^$%£$%"&%(^&*^£$"£&^%*&(%&£ O^$^£&£"%)&*&(%£&^$£ (&^$&%&$%"£&^%)&*%£(&%)*&%(%£%£":}{:}:?~@:>
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^$££%"&%£@:~@}{^$£&£&¬¬&*^%&^$*& O*^%&$*%£^*%(*^(&$*^%$()+* &^%&*%£$%^*£^*$£^*%£ O&*R^&(^()*@~@:~)*(&%&(%$^*%££$! &$%&$*%^$*%&$*())&O&*%%^£ *&%$!!??????
^$%£$%"&%(^&*^£$"£&^%*&(%&£ O^$^£&£"%)&*&(%£&^$£ (&^$&%&$%"£&^%)&*%£(&%)*&%(%£%£":}{:}:?~@:>
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Thursday, February 12, 2004
Apathy
As you may have noticed, this is my first post since Sunday. I thought I'd better do one to remind myself that I have this really neat thing available and not to ignore it. Still working on the poem, three verses done and I may have it done by Saturday. Other than that, same old, same old...
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Sunday, February 08, 2004
Inspiration
Spent the evening in company playing Cheapass board games and Vinci and wound up finishing the evening (morning) watching Peter's friends, a very good film about a bunch of close folk who haven't seen each other for several years and get together for New Year. Thought provoking and fun. For some reason this has inspired me to do my trick of mucking around with the word to a famous poem/song. Don't ask me why, I just do, 'kay? The work I have chosen for the chop is The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God by Milton Hayes. Again, don't ask me why. I love this poem, the tempo, the characters and the situation. It probably doesn't deserve to be mauled by me but there you go. When it's finished I'll put it up, but for those of you unfamiliar with the work...
The Green Eye of the Yellow God
THERE'S a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
He was known as "Mad Carew" by the subs at Khatmandu,
He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell;
But for all his foolish pranks, he was worshipped in the ranks,
And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.
He had loved her all along, with a passion of the strong,
The fact that she loved him was plain to all.
She was nearly twenty-one and arrangements had begun
To celebrate her birthday with a ball.
He wrote to ask what present she would like from Mad Carew;
They met next day as he dismissed a squad;
And jestingly she told him then that nothing else would do
But the green eye of the little Yellow God.
On the night before the dance, Mad Carew seemed in a trance,
And they chaffed him as they puffed at their cigars;
But for once he failed to smile, and he sat alone awhile,
Then went out into the night beneath the stars.
He returned before the dawn, with his shirt and tunic torn,
And a gash across his temple dripping red;
He was patched up right away, and he slept through all the day,
And the Colonel's daughter watched beside his bed.
He woke at last and asked if they could send his tunic through;
She brought it, and he thanked her with a nod;
He bade her search the pocket saying, "That's from Mad Carew,"
And she found the little green eye of the god.
She upbraided poor Carew in the way that women do,
Though both her eyes were strangely hot and wet;
But she wouldn't take the stone and Mad Carew was left alone
With the jewel that he'd chanced his life to get.
When the ball was at its height, on that still and tropic night,
She thought of him and hastened to his room;
As she crossed the barrack square she could hear the dreamy air
Of a waltz tune softly stealing thro' the gloom.
His door was open wide, with silver moonlight shining through;
The place was wet and slipp'ry where she trod;
An ugly knife lay buried in the heart of Mad Carew,
'Twas the "Vengeance of the Little Yellow God."
There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
There are gestures to be done with the work when it's recited, but damned if I can remember them.
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
The Green Eye of the Yellow God
THERE'S a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
He was known as "Mad Carew" by the subs at Khatmandu,
He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell;
But for all his foolish pranks, he was worshipped in the ranks,
And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.
He had loved her all along, with a passion of the strong,
The fact that she loved him was plain to all.
She was nearly twenty-one and arrangements had begun
To celebrate her birthday with a ball.
He wrote to ask what present she would like from Mad Carew;
They met next day as he dismissed a squad;
And jestingly she told him then that nothing else would do
But the green eye of the little Yellow God.
On the night before the dance, Mad Carew seemed in a trance,
And they chaffed him as they puffed at their cigars;
But for once he failed to smile, and he sat alone awhile,
Then went out into the night beneath the stars.
He returned before the dawn, with his shirt and tunic torn,
And a gash across his temple dripping red;
He was patched up right away, and he slept through all the day,
And the Colonel's daughter watched beside his bed.
He woke at last and asked if they could send his tunic through;
She brought it, and he thanked her with a nod;
He bade her search the pocket saying, "That's from Mad Carew,"
And she found the little green eye of the god.
She upbraided poor Carew in the way that women do,
Though both her eyes were strangely hot and wet;
But she wouldn't take the stone and Mad Carew was left alone
With the jewel that he'd chanced his life to get.
When the ball was at its height, on that still and tropic night,
She thought of him and hastened to his room;
As she crossed the barrack square she could hear the dreamy air
Of a waltz tune softly stealing thro' the gloom.
His door was open wide, with silver moonlight shining through;
The place was wet and slipp'ry where she trod;
An ugly knife lay buried in the heart of Mad Carew,
'Twas the "Vengeance of the Little Yellow God."
There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
There are gestures to be done with the work when it's recited, but damned if I can remember them.
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Monday, February 02, 2004
Weapon of Mass Destruction
Forget about the missing ones in Iraq (Tony and George wish you would), I now have one of the originals. The Trebuchet works!!! What a cool piece of kit! Despite my inability to follow model instructions, measure things accurately or use tools correctly the desk top Trebuchet works perfectly. It can fling the iron shot 2/3 the length of my hall and the wooden ones 3/4. This works out at about 8 and 9 paces respectively. LBG has fired it with me and has looked at the web site and is convinced he needs an Onager. Next on my list is their Ballista.
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Fixes
Kudos to me! I've altered my comment settings so that it is on both UK time and date format! This should stop confusion when I'm being berated for being up all night!
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Sunday, February 01, 2004
Aftermath.
So, McGuffin night is over and on to the next thing. Today the Bloodbowl tournament continued but I didn't take part. The usual suspects were around and already it looks like Laid Back Guy is going to pound all the other teams and be a runaway success again. He obviously needs a premier league to compete in. :)
In other news, I have no 'flu save a few lingering symptoms and so it's back to work with me in the morning. Rats. On the other hand it gets me out and about again. Yay.
After Bloodbowl I spent a pleasant evening 'round at 'Muffin's where I cooked dinner, talked about life, the universe and everything and wrapped it up with an episode of UV. Now I'm home and contemplating a McGuffined and Bloodbowled flat and looking at a Trebuchet that needs building. Sigh. Life is back to normal.
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In other news, I have no 'flu save a few lingering symptoms and so it's back to work with me in the morning. Rats. On the other hand it gets me out and about again. Yay.
After Bloodbowl I spent a pleasant evening 'round at 'Muffin's where I cooked dinner, talked about life, the universe and everything and wrapped it up with an episode of UV. Now I'm home and contemplating a McGuffined and Bloodbowled flat and looking at a Trebuchet that needs building. Sigh. Life is back to normal.
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
McGuffin 2004
Tonight was McGuffin Night 2004 and it was a 90% success. More power to McGuffin!
It was great to see 8 challengers for the title of Champion of McGuffin in the tests of wits and skill but we eventually had a winner in the shape of Alex. Huzzah for McGuffin!
In other news, McGuffin's High priest received another piece of regalia, the Staff of McGuffin, which has been promised for a year.
Personally, several of my friends used tonight to provide me with birthday presents. The Scooby Gang presented me with a Trebuchet and yesterday Korvar presented me with Ideology, a very cool board game. 'Muffin gave me a Devil Duck and 'Muffin and the girls of the Scooby Gang posed as the girls from Charlie's Angels with me as Bosley in the middle. I must be living right! The rest of McGuffin Night was spent Chess playing, Eye-Toy playing and drinking. Pretty cool really.
After tonight I'm feeling pretty good and I'm fairly sure that I'm over the 'flu, thank gods. Unfortunately this means that it's back to the gym on Monday. Swordswoman has said that she'll keep me company but we'll have to wait and see.
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
It was great to see 8 challengers for the title of Champion of McGuffin in the tests of wits and skill but we eventually had a winner in the shape of Alex. Huzzah for McGuffin!
In other news, McGuffin's High priest received another piece of regalia, the Staff of McGuffin, which has been promised for a year.
Personally, several of my friends used tonight to provide me with birthday presents. The Scooby Gang presented me with a Trebuchet and yesterday Korvar presented me with Ideology, a very cool board game. 'Muffin gave me a Devil Duck and 'Muffin and the girls of the Scooby Gang posed as the girls from Charlie's Angels with me as Bosley in the middle. I must be living right! The rest of McGuffin Night was spent Chess playing, Eye-Toy playing and drinking. Pretty cool really.
After tonight I'm feeling pretty good and I'm fairly sure that I'm over the 'flu, thank gods. Unfortunately this means that it's back to the gym on Monday. Swordswoman has said that she'll keep me company but we'll have to wait and see.
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Friday, January 30, 2004
30.002739726027397260273972602739726 yrs
I almost forgot about it but now it's the day after my birthday thats how old I am. I still feel only about 16, though, despite the 'flu.
I would like to thank all the commentators on my list for their remarks. Stuck in here, It helps to have friendly laughs.
Spent my birthday evening enjoying the recent (4/5yrs) Ultraviolet series. I had forgotten how good it was and this was the first time I had seen it since it was on Channel 4 originally. What a cool PC bunch; the thug, the scientist and the investigator. And best of all the organization the worked for shared my views on vampires (stake 'em all and leave 'em in the sunlight, no exceptions). It was a shame it only ran to 6 episodes for one season.
Tomorrow it's off to the doctor's with me, if I can find it. I registered in 1992 and have been back once. I don't even know if it's on the same site. For all I know they've upped sticks and left to a new surgery! I can't remember the name of my doctor and I think they still have me on the books as living at Chalmers Hall (a dilapidated and closed student hall of residence in the centre of Dundee). I suppose I'll have to make an appointment thingy. Back in Norn Iron you just dropped into the doctors surgery and he'd see you. Here it's a wee bit more formalized, I gather.
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
I would like to thank all the commentators on my list for their remarks. Stuck in here, It helps to have friendly laughs.
Spent my birthday evening enjoying the recent (4/5yrs) Ultraviolet series. I had forgotten how good it was and this was the first time I had seen it since it was on Channel 4 originally. What a cool PC bunch; the thug, the scientist and the investigator. And best of all the organization the worked for shared my views on vampires (stake 'em all and leave 'em in the sunlight, no exceptions). It was a shame it only ran to 6 episodes for one season.
Tomorrow it's off to the doctor's with me, if I can find it. I registered in 1992 and have been back once. I don't even know if it's on the same site. For all I know they've upped sticks and left to a new surgery! I can't remember the name of my doctor and I think they still have me on the books as living at Chalmers Hall (a dilapidated and closed student hall of residence in the centre of Dundee). I suppose I'll have to make an appointment thingy. Back in Norn Iron you just dropped into the doctors surgery and he'd see you. Here it's a wee bit more formalized, I gather.
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Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Cabin Fever
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
Arrrrrrgh!
I haven't been out, not even to work. I can't summon the minimal mental energy to read. I'm going slowly nuts. I am now an expert on The Hutton Report and can confirm that snow is cold. This is the extent of my day. Rats.
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All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
All 'flu and no play makes Brad a dull Hobbit.
Arrrrrrgh!
I haven't been out, not even to work. I can't summon the minimal mental energy to read. I'm going slowly nuts. I am now an expert on The Hutton Report and can confirm that snow is cold. This is the extent of my day. Rats.
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Long past Bed Time
But I'm still awake with a blocked sinus induced headache. Spent the evening watching TV. Col. Dick was on again showing us some of the more nuts inventions of the WWII arms race (those wacky Axis Powers).
I also got to see League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Not a patch on the comic series by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neil, but watchable nonetheless.
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I also got to see League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Not a patch on the comic series by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neil, but watchable nonetheless.
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Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Erg
Not at all well. Damn 'flu. Damn virus. Feeling very sorry for myself. 'Muffin called 'round with Swordswoman in tow and cheered me up no end. I may yet live through the day. But not if it keeps snowing like this.
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Monday, January 26, 2004
Maudlin
Please ignore this message as I think it's very poor reading.
The Black Dog. Bleah. Down in the dumps. The Blues. Glum. Hireadd and so on and so on and you get the idea.
I've got it bad tonight, for the first time in a while. Is it my cold (which seems to be getting worse)? My approaching 30th (Thursday)? The weather? Speaking with friends who seem to have done so much better than me? Even John O' Neil is married. Thinking back 12 years, who'ld have thought it? If it turns out that Mark "Quazzy" Byrne is a .com millionaire several times over I think I'll top myself! Woe is me. Maybe I'm just in the mood for a good wallow in self pity.
Sniff. Mope.
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(If you can be arsed. I wouldn't.)
The Black Dog. Bleah. Down in the dumps. The Blues. Glum. Hireadd and so on and so on and you get the idea.
I've got it bad tonight, for the first time in a while. Is it my cold (which seems to be getting worse)? My approaching 30th (Thursday)? The weather? Speaking with friends who seem to have done so much better than me? Even John O' Neil is married. Thinking back 12 years, who'ld have thought it? If it turns out that Mark "Quazzy" Byrne is a .com millionaire several times over I think I'll top myself! Woe is me. Maybe I'm just in the mood for a good wallow in self pity.
Sniff. Mope.
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(If you can be arsed. I wouldn't.)
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Hammered
No, not drunk this time but the result of the Bloodbowl game today when I played my first league match. Laid Back Guy swept me away in a humiliating 3-1 defeat. So much for my high hopes after last week's triumph against Socialite. Then again, LBG did win the league last season. Maybe this is just the shape of things to come and we're all jockeying for second place again.
Apart from work this morning spent the rest of the day in a state of faff. Saw Tremors 4 and played a game of Crimson Skies collectible Miniatures game. All in all, quite pleasant.
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Apart from work this morning spent the rest of the day in a state of faff. Saw Tremors 4 and played a game of Crimson Skies collectible Miniatures game. All in all, quite pleasant.
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Saturday, January 24, 2004
Fafforama
Spent most of today boardgaming with friends and then a break for dinner followed by an abortive attempt to go bowling followed by more boardgaming. All in all, a pleasant day marred only by my continuous Baron Silas Greenback impressions.
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Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
Drunk at 6am
I am. It's not my fault. It's an accident. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Spent the day in bed 'til 5.55pm with a heavy cold. This seemed to do the job and I went out for the evening. However, this meant that I had to skip the Friday Fitness Session. I'll have to improve on this at the weekend in order to keep up my three times a week promise to myself.
After the night out I spent the wee small hours talking with Agent Grey about the various strategies one could use in MOO2. It's amazing what things gamers can talk about at 4am!
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
Spent the day in bed 'til 5.55pm with a heavy cold. This seemed to do the job and I went out for the evening. However, this meant that I had to skip the Friday Fitness Session. I'll have to improve on this at the weekend in order to keep up my three times a week promise to myself.
After the night out I spent the wee small hours talking with Agent Grey about the various strategies one could use in MOO2. It's amazing what things gamers can talk about at 4am!
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Boiler Water Tastes Yucky
It really does. Those boilers I mentioned yesterday leaked all through the night. This morning when I arrived I discovered they used a large bin to collect the water overnight. Unfortunately, the bin was placed so that you couldn't remove it from it's drip catching position without spilling it all over the floor and defeating the object of the exercise. Cue me, one length of tube and a smaller bucket. Yuck. I probably have a case of dysentery now on top of this nasty cold that seems to be developing. I thought that exercise was meant to make you healthier. On a related note, I weighed myself yesterday and found that I had lost approximately one stone since Christmas. This healthy living seems to have some dividends.
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Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
It Never Rains, but it Pours
No luck for me today if I wanted a quiet afternoon. Imagine an 1800 seater bingo club catering generally to the older segment of society. In winter. Centrally heated and providing hot food and drink. Now take away the gas supply. That's right, not a pretty picture. It took me 4 hours to get that up and running today and when I did, the boiler couldn't handle the start up pressure so there was water, hot water, coming through the ceiling as the builders thought that the overflow pipe didn't need to go outside, just point it at the floor. Go figure.
Fitness Report...Fitness Report...Fitness Report...Fitness Report...Fitness Repor
Still at it, not dead yet.
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Fitness Report...Fitness Report...Fitness Report...Fitness Report...Fitness Repor
Still at it, not dead yet.
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
Free for Another Month
Thank the stars that's over. Mage is finished with for another month and in future I won't have to worry about the admin side of things. Really Big Guy has offered to do all of it and if it means that I don't have to deal with the wankers up the chain then that's fine by me. Huzzah! This means that all I have to do is supply the plots until the whole WOD blows up in a few months. With any luck it'll get replaced by something that makes a good bit more sense.
In fitness news, I still hurt quite a bit from yesterday. I think I may have strained some sort of groin muscle and it's making me limp a bit. Gods alone know why just the right hand side. Go figure. I don't intend to let this put me off, however, and I'll be going again tomorrow.
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
In fitness news, I still hurt quite a bit from yesterday. I think I may have strained some sort of groin muscle and it's making me limp a bit. Gods alone know why just the right hand side. Go figure. I don't intend to let this put me off, however, and I'll be going again tomorrow.
Tune in again soon, same Blogg time, same Blogg channel.
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