I was faffing about on the 'net (as you do) and I came accross this little gem that put me in mind of my fabled "Complete history of Sauron in under a minute" routine...
THE ENTIRE SILMARILLION OF J. R. R. TOLKIEN IN ONE THOUSAND WORDS.
AINULINDALE:
ILUVATAR: Ahem.
AINUR: Wow! Existence!
ILUVATAR: *blows pitch pipe* LA!
AINUR: LA LA LA!
ILUVATAR: LA LA!
AINUR: LA LA!
MELKOR: This sucks. BUM BUM BA DUM!
AINUR: Um. . . la?
ILUVATAR: Ahem. LA!
MELKOR: Boop bop-a-doo-bop!
ILUVATAR: LA, dammit.
MELKOR: Bwam bardle ningle boom.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: Right, you're out of the band.
MELKOR: Fine, I was leaving anyway.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: What are you waiting for?
AINUR: Oh. Right. Newly created world. Sorry. Great jam session, big guy!
ILUVATAR: Yeesh.
VALAQUENTA:
MANWE: I'm in charge!
VARDA: I'm Manwe's spouse. And queen of the stars!
NAMO: I do death and fate. They call me Mandos.
VAIRE: I'm Namo's spouse. I weave things.
IRMO: I have gardens. They call me Lorien.
ESTE: I'm Irmo's spouse. I take care of the gardens.
YAVANNA: I make things grow.
NIENNA: I'm sad.
ULMO: I live in the ocean.
AULE: I'm Yavanna's spouse. I've got a great big hammer! I made dwarves.
NESSA: I dance.
OROME: I hunt!
VANA: I'm Orome's spouse. I make living things happy.
TULKAS: I'm strong. I'm Nessa's spouse. I got here last.
MELKOR: I'm bad, momma, I'm ONE BAD MUTHA-
TULKAS: Grar.
MELKOR: Um. Yeah. Hiding now.
QUENTA SILMARILLION:
VALAR: Hey! Ilmaren! Party on the island, everyone!
MELKOR: Bah. Too bright. *builds fortress, kicks over lamps*
VALAR: AUGH! *flee to west*
MELKOR: Hu hu hu.
VALAR: Oooooh SHINY TREES! Yavanna made shiny trees!
YAVANNA: Yep! Aren't they pretty?
MELKOR: Want shiny.
VALAR: Nope.
MELKOR: Why not?
VALAR: Because you're a jerk.
ELVES: Oh hey, stars. Shiny!
MELKOR: Oh hey, breeding stock.
ELVES: AUGH!
UNGOLIANT: Want shiny.
MELKOR: Let's go get shiny.
FEANOR: I've made more shiny!
VALAR: Good, 'cos Melkor took ours. Can we have yours?
FEANOR: No! MY SHINIES! MINE!
VALAR: Aw, !&*()!@&)!(&.
MELKOR: Got the shinies!
UNGOLIANT: Not enough shiny. Want more shiny!
MELKOR: You can't have 'em.
UNGOLIANT: Grar.
MELKOR: Eeek! *runs*
FEANOR AND SONS: We're gettin' our shinies back. And YOU CAN'T HAVE 'EM, Valar!
MELKOR/MORGOTH: No you're not. *stabbity fiery burny death*
BEREN: Ooo! Pretty elf lady!
THINGOL: You can have her if you ... BRING ME A SHINY!
BEREN: Worth a shot.
LUTHIEN: La la la
MORGOTH: Ooo baby... *zzz*
BEREN: Got your shiny!
MORGOTH: you BASTARD! I stole those fair and square!
CARCHAROTH: Grar.
BEREN: Ow!
THINGOL: Got the shiny?
BEREN: 's in my hand.
THINGOL: And?
BEREN: Hand's not here.
THINGOL: Crap, I really wanted that shiny.
CARCHAROTH: GRAR!!!!
BEREN: *dies*
LUTHIEN: *dies* La la la.
MANDOS: ... oh all right.
LUTHIEN: *returns to life*
BEREN: *returns to life*
LUTHIEN: Beren! Look! The shiny! In a necklace!
FEANOR'S SONS: *mutter*
LUTHIEN: *dies again*
BEREN: *dies again*
DIOR: Oo, Mom's shiny!
FEANOR'S SONS: WANT SHINY!
DIOR: *dies*
ELWING: Eek! *grabs shiny, runs*
FEANOR'S SONS: !*&(!)&)*!.
EARENDIL: Hey. Nice shiny. Yo! Valar!
VALAR: Well FINALLY. *stomp stomp stomp*
EARENDIL: Wow, planetary orbit!
MORGOTH: Eek!
VALAR: Got your shinies!
MAGLOR AND MAEDHROS: You mean OUR shinies!
VALAR: Oh *!&(!&).
MAGLOR AND MAEDHROS: Ow! Burny shinies!
MAEDHROS: Fine. This sucks. *jumps into chasm*
MAGLOR: Um... not really looking forward to meeting Dad again... *chucks shiny into sea* Bye. *wanders off*
VALAR: Well... um... okay.
AKALLABETH:
VALAR: Thanks for helping with Morgoth, Edain! Have an island! Elros is in charge!
EDAIN: Cool!
VALAR: Don't come looking for us.
EDAIN: Okay.
ELVES OF TOL ERESSEA: Have our stuff!
NUMENOREANS: Neat! Ooo, Middle-Earth!
GIL-GALAD: Dudes. Good to see you.
NUMENOREANS: Yeah, same here. What's going on?
GIL-GALAD: War with Sauron mostly.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Shiny tall wonderful wise sea-king dudes! Yay!
NUMENOREANS: Here, have some stuff and wisdom.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: <3 <3 <3
NUMENOREANS: Life is cool. Why do we have to die?
ELVES: You're human?
NUMENOREANS: Can the Valar fix that?
VALAR: No.
NUMENOREANS: That sucks. Go away.
ELVES: Fine.
ELENDILI: Hey! Over here! We still like you!
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Gosh, we're lonely.
NUMENOREANS: Whatever, give us your wealth and your children.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Um, okay.
ELENDILI: This isn't gonna end well, is it?
ELVES: No.
TAR-PALANTIR: We're sorry?
GIMILKHAD: *I'm* not.
AR-PHARAZON: Thanks for the throne, dude.
TAR-MIRIEL: Hey!
AR-PHARAZON: Shaddap, woman. Sauron, j00 suxx0r! I 0wnz0r j00!
SAURON: Okay.
AR-PHARAZON: Make me immortal.
SAURON: Human sacrifice is good. Also burn that pesky white tree.
AR-PHARAZON: Um. . .
ISILDUR: Hey! White tree! Got your fruit!
SAURON: *makes chicken noises*
AR-PHARAZON: Fine. Tree burn! Fire pretty!
ELENDIL: Isildur, Anarion, get the boats.
AR-PHARAZON: I've got a huge navy! Let's go conquer Valinor!
VALAR: Oh no you don't. *CRASHBANGBOOM*
AR-PHARAZON & CO.: Eeek!
ELENDIL, ISILDUR, ANARION: Wheee!
NUMENOREANS: Arrgh!
NUMENOR: SPLOOSH.
SAURON: Bwa ha ha! Um, where's my body?
ILUVATAR: Did I mention the world is round now?
NUMENOREANS IN EXILE: Well, crap.
OF THE RINGS OF POWER AND THE THIRD AGE:
ELVES: Wonder what's going on over the ocean. This crafting deal is pretty sweet, though!
DWARVES: Yeah, seriously.
ANNATAR: Hi, elves! Wanna learn some cool stuff?
ELVES: Okay!
SAURON: They fell for it.
SEVEN DWARVES: Thanks for the rings! . . oooh, GOLD! MUST HAVE GOLD!
NINE MEN: Neat rings. . . Hey, didn't Mom die like six hundred years ago?
CELEBRIMBOR: Okay, how about we do three more and call it a wrap?
SAURON: How about I do one more and claim them ALL?
ELVES: AUGH!
SAURON: Bwa ha ha!
LAST ALLIANCE OF ELVES AND MEN: Push off.
SAURON: Make me.
ISILDUR: Whack.
SAURON: Ow.
ELROND: Hey, you got his ring. Let's ditch it.
ISILDUR: No.
ELROND: This sucks.
ISILDUR: Tell me about it. *dies*
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
CIRDAN: Hi, wizards! You in the grey, catch!
SAURON: Okay, that's long enough. Movin' into Dol Guldur.
SARUMAN: It's not him. Also the ring's lost at sea.
RING: No I'm not.
THE WISE: Augh.
THE WEAK: Bad ring! Volcano for you!
RING: *melts*
SAURON: AUGH!
MORDOR: BOOM.
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
ELROND, GALADRIEL: Road trip!
GANDALF: Hi Cirdan! Still got your ring!
CIRDAN: Cool. Let's go to Valinor!
Decided after I read this that I wished to emulate Bookwoman and Slacker in doing a spot of writing. Watch this space.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I have returned...
What have I done since my last posting?
Seen freinds and got drunk at least three times, twice at fancy dress parties.
Changed shifts at work so that I can game more often.
Had my computer broken by Jamalen, but it's ok, he arranged for its replacement on the cheap.
Argued with Telewest a lot.
Fixed my new computer with help from Muffin so that I can tell you all about it.
Organised a Call of C'thullu LRP.
Had my car fail it's MOT so now I'm a pedestrian again.
Bought my sister's Christmas present.
Bought my christmas present.
Faffed.
Now on with the ripping off of other perple's bloggs. Huzzah!
Seen freinds and got drunk at least three times, twice at fancy dress parties.
Changed shifts at work so that I can game more often.
Had my computer broken by Jamalen, but it's ok, he arranged for its replacement on the cheap.
Argued with Telewest a lot.
Fixed my new computer with help from Muffin so that I can tell you all about it.
Organised a Call of C'thullu LRP.
Had my car fail it's MOT so now I'm a pedestrian again.
Bought my sister's Christmas present.
Bought my christmas present.
Faffed.
Now on with the ripping off of other perple's bloggs. Huzzah!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Top quality Beeb drama...
I was idly trawling through BBC7's listen again schedule hunting out some of my favourite comedy shows this evening and I came accross a trailer for Troy, a three part radio play of epic proportions. I hunted it up and was swept away for the next one and a half hours to another time where the gods walked among men and doing deals with fate could bring great nations down. Oh, and there's some sort of love story too...
If you have the spare time, you can find part one here. Do so, you won't regret it.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
If you have the spare time, you can find part one here. Do so, you won't regret it.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Disturbing Images...
Just after completing the LotR marathon the other day I decided to launch myself into the books for my annual re-read of them. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that this time Tom Bombadil and Goldberry appeared as Tom and Barbara from The Good Life!
Confused? You bet I was!
I think my upstairs needs a good dusting.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Confused? You bet I was!
I think my upstairs needs a good dusting.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
Lord of the Rings...
I've had nothing better to do today so I watched Peter Jackson's LotR Trilogy. All ten hours. And as usual, in any media format, the ending left me a gibbering, emotional wreck for five minutes. (Hey I'm in touch with my feelings, 'k?) So to cheer myself up I went looking for Tolkien Guff and found this on the Sarcasm Page...
Beginning Questions
1. Just exactly what was the nature of the friendship between Gimli and Legolas?
2. If Aragorn had the option, would he have ditched the Fellowship for a date with Pamela Anderson?
3. Why didn't Gandalf just blow up the armies that got in his way, if he was so powerful?
4. How many times is the word "passed" used in LotR? (No peeking!)
5. What exactly was in lembas? (Hint: in Letters #210, JRRT says quite explicitly that lembas is not a "food concentrate".)
6. Why didn't the hobbits in the Shire rise against Sharkey and his men sooner? (Were Frodo, Sam and the lads a cut above hobbitdom and thus extraordinary?)
7. If Aragorn truly spent uncounted years as a lone Ranger, then where the hell is Tonto? And why doesn't he wear that mask?
8. If Frodo hung the Ring on a chain, why didn't the chain turn invisible?
Advanced Questions
9. When Isildur had control of the One Ring, why didn't he use it to command the Ringwraiths? Or the Elven-rings? Or the Dwarven-rings? He could have ruled the whole of Middle-earth with that Ring, yet he decided instead to just write a couple of letters and then go for an unfortunate swim. What's his problem, anyway? Was he stupid?
10. When Legolas introduces Gimli to Treebeard, Gimli bows low and his axe falls to the ground. Treebeard notices this, but merely comments "Hoom! A Dwarf and an axe-bearer!" rather than smash Gimli to Play-Doh™. Doubtless you've heard of the poem, "Woodsman, Spare That Tree!"; did Tolkien have plans to write another version, titled "Tree, Spare That Woodsman!"?
11. Why is the tale of Beren and Luthien subtitled "Release from Bondage", when we never even once get to see her tied up? (And I was really hoping, too.)
12. And if, as is likely, a bacterium had landed on the inner surface of the Ring, would the Ring corrupt it into an evil bacterium? Would it be invisible to other bacteria? Would its' life stretch out and become an unending weariness? Would it use its' increased strength and stature to rule over other bacteria? Would it fight to keep other bacteria from adhering to the Ring? Would it still evolve genetically, or would it instead become a Bacteria-wraith?
Advanced Questions
13. When the Dwarves of beautiful Khazad-Dum built their Western door, why did they allow it to be inscribed with the insulting name of "Moria" ("Black Pit"), a name that would only be earned long years afterwards?
14. Reconcile Tom Bombadil's statement that he is "Eldest" with Gandalf's statement that Fangorn is "the oldest of all living things". Extra Credit: suggest a valid date of birth for each of them. Document your answers.
15. Aragorn states (Two Towers, p. 18 hardback) that Sauron never uses the name "Sauron", nor does he "permit it to be spelt or spoken". Reconcile this text with the text of Return of the King, p. 164 hardback, where the Lieutenant of Barad-Dur clearly states, "I am the Mouth of Sauron".
16. Though Moria is, by rightful ownership, Dain's, Balin nonetheless referred to himself as "Lord of Moria". Helm's Deep is clearly the property of the Rohirrim, being part of lands granted to them by Gondor long years ago, yet in Return of the King p. 360 hardback Gimli declares himself "Lord of the Glittering Caves". Explain the laws and history pertaining to Dwarven property rights, and how those differed from the customs of Elves and Men. For full credit your answer must also reconcile Dwarven property laws with the generous nature of Aule, the Dwarves' creator.
17. How would the history of Middle-earth have differed if Sauron had returned to Aman and received the judgement of Manwe at the end of the First Age, rather than remaining in Middle-Earth (Silmarillion p. 285 hardback)? Describe resultant cultural differences which would have taken place in the Second, Third and Fourth Ages. Special emphasis should be given to the cultures of the Grey Havens, Numenor (including the Dunedain and the Black Numenoreans), the Rohirrim, the Dunlendings and others descending from the peoples of the White Mountains, the Ents, the peoples of Khand, the Orcs (particularly those tribes living in the Grey, Misty and Ash Mountains and the Mountains of Shadow), the Elven peoples of Gil-Galad (include Elrond and the likelihood of Rivendell's being constructed), the Hobbits (beginning from when they were living in the Vales of Anduin), and the Haradrim (both Near and Far Harad must be covered for full credit). Also speculate on the differences in culture which would take place in Aman as Sauron describes his experience with evil to the Valar, Maiar, and Eldar living there. On Silmarillion p. 65, it states that "Manwe was free from evil and could not comprehend it"; would he gain an understanding of evil from the experiences of Sauron? Be prepared to defend your answer
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Beginning Questions
1. Just exactly what was the nature of the friendship between Gimli and Legolas?
2. If Aragorn had the option, would he have ditched the Fellowship for a date with Pamela Anderson?
3. Why didn't Gandalf just blow up the armies that got in his way, if he was so powerful?
4. How many times is the word "passed" used in LotR? (No peeking!)
5. What exactly was in lembas? (Hint: in Letters #210, JRRT says quite explicitly that lembas is not a "food concentrate".)
6. Why didn't the hobbits in the Shire rise against Sharkey and his men sooner? (Were Frodo, Sam and the lads a cut above hobbitdom and thus extraordinary?)
7. If Aragorn truly spent uncounted years as a lone Ranger, then where the hell is Tonto? And why doesn't he wear that mask?
8. If Frodo hung the Ring on a chain, why didn't the chain turn invisible?
Advanced Questions
9. When Isildur had control of the One Ring, why didn't he use it to command the Ringwraiths? Or the Elven-rings? Or the Dwarven-rings? He could have ruled the whole of Middle-earth with that Ring, yet he decided instead to just write a couple of letters and then go for an unfortunate swim. What's his problem, anyway? Was he stupid?
10. When Legolas introduces Gimli to Treebeard, Gimli bows low and his axe falls to the ground. Treebeard notices this, but merely comments "Hoom! A Dwarf and an axe-bearer!" rather than smash Gimli to Play-Doh™. Doubtless you've heard of the poem, "Woodsman, Spare That Tree!"; did Tolkien have plans to write another version, titled "Tree, Spare That Woodsman!"?
11. Why is the tale of Beren and Luthien subtitled "Release from Bondage", when we never even once get to see her tied up? (And I was really hoping, too.)
12. And if, as is likely, a bacterium had landed on the inner surface of the Ring, would the Ring corrupt it into an evil bacterium? Would it be invisible to other bacteria? Would its' life stretch out and become an unending weariness? Would it use its' increased strength and stature to rule over other bacteria? Would it fight to keep other bacteria from adhering to the Ring? Would it still evolve genetically, or would it instead become a Bacteria-wraith?
Advanced Questions
13. When the Dwarves of beautiful Khazad-Dum built their Western door, why did they allow it to be inscribed with the insulting name of "Moria" ("Black Pit"), a name that would only be earned long years afterwards?
14. Reconcile Tom Bombadil's statement that he is "Eldest" with Gandalf's statement that Fangorn is "the oldest of all living things". Extra Credit: suggest a valid date of birth for each of them. Document your answers.
15. Aragorn states (Two Towers, p. 18 hardback) that Sauron never uses the name "Sauron", nor does he "permit it to be spelt or spoken". Reconcile this text with the text of Return of the King, p. 164 hardback, where the Lieutenant of Barad-Dur clearly states, "I am the Mouth of Sauron".
16. Though Moria is, by rightful ownership, Dain's, Balin nonetheless referred to himself as "Lord of Moria". Helm's Deep is clearly the property of the Rohirrim, being part of lands granted to them by Gondor long years ago, yet in Return of the King p. 360 hardback Gimli declares himself "Lord of the Glittering Caves". Explain the laws and history pertaining to Dwarven property rights, and how those differed from the customs of Elves and Men. For full credit your answer must also reconcile Dwarven property laws with the generous nature of Aule, the Dwarves' creator.
17. How would the history of Middle-earth have differed if Sauron had returned to Aman and received the judgement of Manwe at the end of the First Age, rather than remaining in Middle-Earth (Silmarillion p. 285 hardback)? Describe resultant cultural differences which would have taken place in the Second, Third and Fourth Ages. Special emphasis should be given to the cultures of the Grey Havens, Numenor (including the Dunedain and the Black Numenoreans), the Rohirrim, the Dunlendings and others descending from the peoples of the White Mountains, the Ents, the peoples of Khand, the Orcs (particularly those tribes living in the Grey, Misty and Ash Mountains and the Mountains of Shadow), the Elven peoples of Gil-Galad (include Elrond and the likelihood of Rivendell's being constructed), the Hobbits (beginning from when they were living in the Vales of Anduin), and the Haradrim (both Near and Far Harad must be covered for full credit). Also speculate on the differences in culture which would take place in Aman as Sauron describes his experience with evil to the Valar, Maiar, and Eldar living there. On Silmarillion p. 65, it states that "Manwe was free from evil and could not comprehend it"; would he gain an understanding of evil from the experiences of Sauron? Be prepared to defend your answer
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Geektastic!
| Pure Geek 43 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 47% Dork |
| For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Geek, earning you the title of: Pure Geek. It's not that you're a school junkie, like the nerd, and you don't really stand out in a crowd, like the dork, you just have some interests that aren't quite mainstream. Perhaps it's anime, perhaps it's computers, perhaps it's bottlecaps, perhaps it's all of those and more. Your interests take you to events and gatherings that are filled with people you find unusual and beyond-the-pale, but you don't quite consider yourself "of that crowd." Instead, you consider yourself to be fairly normal. Which, you are. Congratulations! You're the one on the RIGHT! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in either of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST |
 |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid |
I was hoping to be as balanced as Dr. Sordid...ah well, It's nothing I didn't know...
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Another end of an era...
Well it's 1:50am and i'm plastered again. Today was the sending off of Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy. On Wednesday they leave the Frozen North for the sunnier climes of Cymru (Wales to the uneducated). Tonight Dead Princess and The King hosted a sending off party for them at which almost all of their friends attended (those who didn't attend were absent by reason of distance). We wish them luck in their new venture.
As an aside I'd personally like to thank The King for opening up his wine and spirits cellar to me and Chaos for an entertaining debate on the economy of Star Wars which was doomed to failure on my part but was entertaining for the 20 minutes it took to walk the distance. I love efending a doomed position.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
As an aside I'd personally like to thank The King for opening up his wine and spirits cellar to me and Chaos for an entertaining debate on the economy of Star Wars which was doomed to failure on my part but was entertaining for the 20 minutes it took to walk the distance. I love efending a doomed position.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
And I was hoping for Jon...
You are the Fourth Doctor: A walking Bohemian
conundrum with a brooding personal magnetism
and a first-rate intellect concealed somewhere
beneath your charmingly goofy exterior. You are
perhaps the most terribly clever of all the
Doctors, though your occasional bouts of
childishness get you in trouble. You never go
looking for a fight, but when someone messes
with you... good heavens, are they ever sorry
they did.
Which Incarnation of the Doctor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I took this test 4 diffeent times over three days hoping for Jon and all I got was Tom. Well, you can't argue with the truth. What do you think?
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Monday, August 22, 2005
I sense competition management...
People who know me know that for pleasure I tend to read brick-thick fantasy novels. I've finally learned the release date for two of them. Knife of Dreams by Robert Jordan is from the long running Wheel of Time series. This will be the eleventh book to be published since 1991 and I've been following it closely since practically day one. The tenth was published in early 2003 and this one will be in the shops on 11/10/2005. Practically a two year wait between books but no matter.
The other is A Feast for Crows from George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series. This set is shorter, only four books (technically three but they separated book three into parts one and two) but I'm just as avidly hooked. The last part was published in the UK in 2000 and we've been waiting ever since. (Cries of "GET ON WITH IT!" from off camera). Ice and Fire has been on the go since 1996, not a bad initial spurt but it has slowed right down in recent years. Book four will be published in the UK on 17/10/2005.
I was looking at these dates and wondered why so close together? I assume the books are all ready to go so why release two of the most eagerly awaited novels in the genre so close together?
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
The other is A Feast for Crows from George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series. This set is shorter, only four books (technically three but they separated book three into parts one and two) but I'm just as avidly hooked. The last part was published in the UK in 2000 and we've been waiting ever since. (Cries of "GET ON WITH IT!" from off camera). Ice and Fire has been on the go since 1996, not a bad initial spurt but it has slowed right down in recent years. Book four will be published in the UK on 17/10/2005.
I was looking at these dates and wondered why so close together? I assume the books are all ready to go so why release two of the most eagerly awaited novels in the genre so close together?
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
A band-wagon, I must be on it....
Always one to follow along like a lost sheep I discovered this on Stu's page. I like it and think you will too.
I like it so much I'll put it on my link bar.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
I like it so much I'll put it on my link bar.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
But it's a good kind of pain...
Today was a bit different. Aparently Her Majesty's Customs and Revenue (the former Inland Revenue merged with Her Majesty's Customs and Excise and my current employers for those who haven't been paying attention) run a volunteers day. My team decised to help Dundee City Council's Ranger Service. We envisaged maybe clearing up some litter and erecting some squirrel boxes. Not too much hassle. A break from the routine, fresh air and some easy, not too demanding physical tasks. Or so we thought.
The time was 9:30am, the palce was Trottick Mill Ponds. A former linen and jute mill's source of power allowed to become a nature reserve. Our job today was to assist the ranger in clearing out some of the channels that lead from the local river, the Dighty Burn, via the sluice gates to the ponds themselves. Thse channels had become silted up over the last year or so and if they weren't cleared would prevent the river from filling the ponds. The paths to the channels wouldn't support a small digger so enter us, stage left.
Waders on our legs (except for me, my feet are too big) and spades in hand we proceded to dig out the channels to their stone bottoms, removing a years accumulated silt and detritus. Yuck. It was nasty, messy, smelly hard work and it took is most of the day to shovel and shift the silt.
We did get a break from silt shovelling for an hour or so after lunch but that was only to pour and mix concrete to repair some vandalised nature information signs. More spade work. And after that? Silt! Yay.
At the end of the day, however, with our backs aching and hands blistering from the unaccustomed hard graft we surveyed what we had done with a muck covered, satisfied air. We opened the sluice gates and after a few moments the water ran free and clear. Huzzah. We felt good. We were in pain but we felt good.
Good job it's only once a year... I may come to like it otherwise...
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
The time was 9:30am, the palce was Trottick Mill Ponds. A former linen and jute mill's source of power allowed to become a nature reserve. Our job today was to assist the ranger in clearing out some of the channels that lead from the local river, the Dighty Burn, via the sluice gates to the ponds themselves. Thse channels had become silted up over the last year or so and if they weren't cleared would prevent the river from filling the ponds. The paths to the channels wouldn't support a small digger so enter us, stage left.
Waders on our legs (except for me, my feet are too big) and spades in hand we proceded to dig out the channels to their stone bottoms, removing a years accumulated silt and detritus. Yuck. It was nasty, messy, smelly hard work and it took is most of the day to shovel and shift the silt.
We did get a break from silt shovelling for an hour or so after lunch but that was only to pour and mix concrete to repair some vandalised nature information signs. More spade work. And after that? Silt! Yay.
At the end of the day, however, with our backs aching and hands blistering from the unaccustomed hard graft we surveyed what we had done with a muck covered, satisfied air. We opened the sluice gates and after a few moments the water ran free and clear. Huzzah. We felt good. We were in pain but we felt good.
Good job it's only once a year... I may come to like it otherwise...
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Return to form...
It's 1:23am and I'm smashed again.
It's the last night of my Ireland excursion. The neolithic tombs were the highlight of my cultural explorations. I had hoped to take in the national trust property Mount Stewart but time didn't allow (read, I was too lazy). Once again if you're in the area do visit. It is the single most impressive National Trust property I have ever seen. In Norn Iron it is the one thing I would insist on a visitor seeing apart from the Antrim Coast (Carrickarede and the Giant's Causeway).
Today I was involved in such irish traditional past times as Crazy Golf (I came second, losing to my sister)and Ten Pin Bowlng at The Sheep Bridge Inn, Newry(I came last, I blame the facilities, they're not very good).
As you may guess, I have spent the last few hours in a drinking establishment. I spent it in the company of my father and his brother. Despite earlier comments to our younger readers I can't stress enough how vital it is to do this. Several points of view were aired and the world was put to rights by people speaking guff.
The point of this waffle is to realise that your elders are a resource to be tapped when they're smashed and to use them and not to take it to heart, when you describe how you could build a dirty bomb and detonate it in a major metropolitan area for maximum effect on the back of an envelope, when they tell you to shut up and call you a loon.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
It's the last night of my Ireland excursion. The neolithic tombs were the highlight of my cultural explorations. I had hoped to take in the national trust property Mount Stewart but time didn't allow (read, I was too lazy). Once again if you're in the area do visit. It is the single most impressive National Trust property I have ever seen. In Norn Iron it is the one thing I would insist on a visitor seeing apart from the Antrim Coast (Carrickarede and the Giant's Causeway).
Today I was involved in such irish traditional past times as Crazy Golf (I came second, losing to my sister)and Ten Pin Bowlng at The Sheep Bridge Inn, Newry(I came last, I blame the facilities, they're not very good).
As you may guess, I have spent the last few hours in a drinking establishment. I spent it in the company of my father and his brother. Despite earlier comments to our younger readers I can't stress enough how vital it is to do this. Several points of view were aired and the world was put to rights by people speaking guff.
The point of this waffle is to realise that your elders are a resource to be tapped when they're smashed and to use them and not to take it to heart, when you describe how you could build a dirty bomb and detonate it in a major metropolitan area for maximum effect on the back of an envelope, when they tell you to shut up and call you a loon.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Touring the Homeland
So, Newgrange at Bru Na Boinne. If you want to get an idea of how far back Ireland's past goes into pre-history this is the best way to do it. The three Passage Tombs in the Boyne Valley, Newgrange, Knowth and Dowth, of which Newgrange is the most famous, carry this off spectacularly. If you can get the chance to go and see them whenever you're in Ireland take it. You'll be kicking yourself for tears if you miss it.
This was my third bisit to the region in the last 20 years and it was impressive to see how far both the restoration and the visitor information had come. Being declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO has done it no harm at all.
This time I went to seel Knowth for the first time. Bigger and more archaeologically siginficant than Newgrange it remains less well known despite it containing one third of Western Europe's megalithic artwork. This possibly due to the damage to the entrances to it's passages caused by early christian diggings that prevents the sun lighting up the central chambers at the equinoxes unlike Newgrange where the sun still lights up the tombs at the solstices.
I found the whole experience much more enlightening this time round. Possibly due to my age, possibly due to the excellent tour guides who had all the answers to your questions readily to hand. The only thing they didn't know was the significance of some of the art work. They had many theories and were quick to point out that some of the tourist's views were just as valid. The only thing they ruled out categorically to one set of American tourists was alien involvement.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
This was my third bisit to the region in the last 20 years and it was impressive to see how far both the restoration and the visitor information had come. Being declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO has done it no harm at all.
This time I went to seel Knowth for the first time. Bigger and more archaeologically siginficant than Newgrange it remains less well known despite it containing one third of Western Europe's megalithic artwork. This possibly due to the damage to the entrances to it's passages caused by early christian diggings that prevents the sun lighting up the central chambers at the equinoxes unlike Newgrange where the sun still lights up the tombs at the solstices.
I found the whole experience much more enlightening this time round. Possibly due to my age, possibly due to the excellent tour guides who had all the answers to your questions readily to hand. The only thing they didn't know was the significance of some of the art work. They had many theories and were quick to point out that some of the tourist's views were just as valid. The only thing they ruled out categorically to one set of American tourists was alien involvement.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Let this be a lesson to our younger readers...
I've managed to get the civil service to give me a holiday. So I've taken a holiday with my folks. If you are a regular reader of my blogg you'll know that that means a time warp to the eighties to Norn Iron.
Now, we all know that Norn Iron is a hotbed of political discourse of differing political opinions where if one side says that the sky is blue the other will say that the blue thing is not the sky and is not even blue to begin with. (Please listen to Radio Four's Now Show. Really.
But that's beside the point. The object of this blogg (while I'm drunk, Huzzah) is to advise our younger readers not to get inebriated with their progenitors.
I went for a few pints (5) with my dad in the nearby pub and then came back for Sunday dinner (not Lunch) with my mum. Bad idea. Couple alcohol with Norn Iron polarised political values and you'll find that no-one can disagree sensibly and the evening will end with staggering sixty year olds and one thirty one year old determined to write up his holiday experience all unhappy with each other.
Tomorrow, Newgrange. Europe's oldest Neolithic tomb... Maybe I can leave them there..
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Now, we all know that Norn Iron is a hotbed of political discourse of differing political opinions where if one side says that the sky is blue the other will say that the blue thing is not the sky and is not even blue to begin with. (Please listen to Radio Four's Now Show. Really.
But that's beside the point. The object of this blogg (while I'm drunk, Huzzah) is to advise our younger readers not to get inebriated with their progenitors.
I went for a few pints (5) with my dad in the nearby pub and then came back for Sunday dinner (not Lunch) with my mum. Bad idea. Couple alcohol with Norn Iron polarised political values and you'll find that no-one can disagree sensibly and the evening will end with staggering sixty year olds and one thirty one year old determined to write up his holiday experience all unhappy with each other.
Tomorrow, Newgrange. Europe's oldest Neolithic tomb... Maybe I can leave them there..
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Stunned and unable to parry...
I've just ripped this off Dr. Sordid's blogg and was heartily surprised...
I don't think that horror is really my genre.
Don't get me wrong, I like a good, atmospheric game of Cthulu as much as the next San:0 insane, Deep One worshipping cultie but I don't thnk that it's my big game. I know that I've dressed up to play Cthullu in the past but those were special occasions. I've also dressed up for fancy dress parties, other live action events, Student National Roleplaying events and just plain whimsy.
On the other hand, what is my genre?
Victoriana?
Fantasy?
Space Opera?
Sci-fi?
Swashbuckle?
Other?
You lot've gamed with me, what's the answer?
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
 | You scored as Horror Gamer. You like a game that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Your character might get killed, but that doesn't matter as long as the game is run well. You'll probably like: Call of Cthulu, , Kult World of Darkness, Chill or even Pie Shop
What sort of Gamer are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
I don't think that horror is really my genre.
Don't get me wrong, I like a good, atmospheric game of Cthulu as much as the next San:0 insane, Deep One worshipping cultie but I don't thnk that it's my big game. I know that I've dressed up to play Cthullu in the past but those were special occasions. I've also dressed up for fancy dress parties, other live action events, Student National Roleplaying events and just plain whimsy.
On the other hand, what is my genre?
Victoriana?
Fantasy?
Space Opera?
Sci-fi?
Swashbuckle?
Other?
You lot've gamed with me, what's the answer?
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Moving Stuff...
You know, I keep saying never again but I keep helping folks shift house. This time I spent my quality Sunday loagfing time helping Slacker move to Livingston. No heavy lifting this time, though, just the drive there and back. I'll probably have to do it a total of three times to get all of the stuff he wants shifted and today was the second run.
A pleasant drive through the Tay Valley along the motorway and then for the second time in two weeks a magical mystery tour through Livingston. Hopefully by next time he'll know the streets of his new town...
A very generous fellow, Slacker. Payment for this transportation service was his fridge-freezer and a card table. Unfortunately I couldn't bid him up to the airzooka.
Sigh.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
A pleasant drive through the Tay Valley along the motorway and then for the second time in two weeks a magical mystery tour through Livingston. Hopefully by next time he'll know the streets of his new town...
A very generous fellow, Slacker. Payment for this transportation service was his fridge-freezer and a card table. Unfortunately I couldn't bid him up to the airzooka.
Sigh.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Bar-B-Q Season
So, another week of dealing with the Great (dim witted) British Public s over and I relax by going to a barbie, my third of the year. This one was a quiet affair witha just a few friends 'round at Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy's place. Ate steaming chunks of dead animal. Waffled lots, went home.
And you're sober?
Yep. Driving. It's a bummer. On the upside, it did allow me to waltz off with Slacker's fridge-freezer with the minimum of hassle. Note to self. Muffin wants his washing machine so if someone's going to help me shift it down two flights of stairs then she'd better start to sweet talk Agent Grey.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
And you're sober?
Yep. Driving. It's a bummer. On the upside, it did allow me to waltz off with Slacker's fridge-freezer with the minimum of hassle. Note to self. Muffin wants his washing machine so if someone's going to help me shift it down two flights of stairs then she'd better start to sweet talk Agent Grey.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Catching up and coughing up...
So, Ive trawled a bit, read a couple of bloggs and got back int the swing of things. Gawd, there's so much tat out here and it's all accessible to me! Huzzah!
Cars...
Expensive...
£357 for a service...
Didn't see that coming...
oops...
Blogging on and off since January 2004.that
Cars...
Expensive...
£357 for a service...
Didn't see that coming...
oops...
Blogging on and off since January 2004.that
Normal service has now been resumed
Finally got things organised. I have cable and a land line and as you can see, the interweb is at my beck and call again. More regular updates will be forthcoming...
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
Blogging on and off since January 2004.
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