1.04 am and I'm somewhat smashed

I've just said good-bye to Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy. Everyone who turned up to Tinuviel's birthday party seemed to have a good time. I even got to deplete Beren's whiskey reserves. (Huzzah.) With any luck everyone will turn up to the end of term/semester bash tomorrow. Those who were here for the birthday bash will hopefully carry on where they left off (and bring back the whiskey).

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Call me Borusa

My DURPS career has closely mirrored this infamous Time Lord's.

Many years as member (Time Lord) with friendly links to the committee (High Council)...

A year as Ordinary Member (Cardinal)...

A year as Secretary (Chancellor)...

Now elected President (Lord President)...

Does this mean that I have to get the Evil Pixie Hat and the Coronet of Rassilon, put my friends in the Death Zone and attempt to become both immortal and President for Life?

I hope so...

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They came out of the North...

They did, you know. Gun Man and The Librarian. I've just spent a day in Gun Man's company (Tuesday) and then a further day (Wednesday) in the company of both Gun Man and The Librarian whilst visiting New Mum and New Dad in Arbroath with the help of The D20 God. (These ones should be easy to figure out, you were there).

Gun Man and I spent all of Tuesday faffing, talking over old times (Fuck the system!!; I love handy pipe time...),watching videos (Roger and Me; Monster's Inc.) and drinking beer. It was very therapeutic. Then on Wednesday all four of us (GM, TL, D20G, SFH) went to annoy New Mum and New Dad. They would feed us vegetarian fare, tasty vegetarian fare, and in return we helped with the preparations. D20G was very taken with tossing the salad. It was as if he had found his culinary niche. Afterwards it was more faff and Once Upon a time in Mexico on the big screen. I love having friends with cool tech...

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Hmmm...

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

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Archaeology

Decided that sleep would be a bad plan last night/this morning as work comes far too early. What to do then?

Archaeology.

I decided to dig three trenches in my room. One along each side of the bed. Not only did I discover the carpet in some places but some old campaign notes including Episode IV.v Alliance Defiant and the prototype scenario for Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith.

There was also evidence of a lost civilization that discarded socks wherever it went, mainly those of a religious bent and many many old copper coins of little worth. I'm now off to the channel 4 website to see if I can get Toy Robinson to do a special on this most important site...

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It restores your faith

It really shows that some MP's care about the important things. If I could, I'd vote for each and every one...

MP's send open letter to BBC Chairman candidate.

A cross party group of MP's have written to Michael Grade to say "hands off Doctor Who". They are requesting a pledge from him not to interfere in the new series if he is appointed to the post of Chairman of the BBC.

The group, which includes Conservative Shadow Education Secretary Tim Collins and Labour's Stephen Pound are concerned that if Grade becomes Chairman, he may derail the project.

Famous Who-hater Grade suspended the original series in 1985 when he was Controller of BBC1. He has since gone on record to voice his dislike for the show and science-fiction in general. Speaking on ITV's This Morning show in 1999 he said of Doctor Who, "I hated it, it was awful."

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It was a fix

Just finished watching BBC's Greatest Sitcom final. It started 10 weeks ago and I was right, unfortunately. There is no accounting for the Great British Public's taste. Only Fools and Horses won, a comedy that had long since lost any appeal it once had with me yet was still served every year at Christmas like an overcooked turkey. Nuts. Shamefully, my choices didn't even get into the top three. The Good Life came ninth and Yes Minister came sixth. What was that all about?

I also watched MST3K The Movie tonight. The 50's classic This Island Earth came in for the heckling by Nelson and the robots tonight and I was disappointed to see that they didn't broadcast the whole thing. I don't know if this was because This Island Earth was edited for the MST3K treatment or ITV in it's infinite wisdom decided to edit the movie for broadcast.

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No apologies this time...

As promised
Oops, I fumbled again

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again
I made you believe we had more than a chance
Oh baby
It might seem just like a mistake
But it doesn't mean that it's not serious
'Cause to lose all our lives
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

CHORUS:
Oops!...I fumbled again
I played with the dice, got some lost in the chair
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm no good
That my head's made of wood
I'm not that competent

(Not much to change in this verse)

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I play, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all our lives
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh

Repeat CHORUS

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"All aboard"
"Bradley, before you go, there's something I want you to know"
"Oh, it's getting late, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the pump was a diesel one!"
"Well Brad, I went and looked and it isn't!"
"Oh, f**k! I couldn't have!"

Oops!...I fumbled again on my next roll
We're lost in this game, oh baby
Oops!...You think my head's made of wood
I'm not that competent


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Bread and Circuses

I've just returned from watching Wrestlemania. As I suspected, it was a brilliant spectacle with all the comic book/bad soap twists and resolutions we've come to know and love. In short, it was trashy fun.

So, were the Romans right?

Do we need such spectacle to keep the population happy? In the final bout/fight/contest/scenario thing two men were bleeding heavily from the head having had their heads rammed quite spectacularly into metal fixtures. For our entertainment. Makes you think. Of course, you could argue that this is no different from blockbuster movies like Gladiator or Saving Private Ryan in which there is a large body count for entertainment purposes. In fact Gladiator is all about those ancient Roman spectacles. However, the difference is that all of these events aren't real. Make believe. Two of those guys were going to need stitches. Lots of stitches. If this had been outside my door the local police would have hauled them away (after getting several big burly bobbies first.)

But I enjoyed it. I don't know why. I appreciated the skill some of them showed, especially the cruiser weights; the show was well managed and was entertaining even when there was no-one in the ring and I think that I didn't waste the four and a half hours of my life spent watching it in good company. Go figure.

People are strange.

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Unlucky at cards...

...unlucky at Bloodbowl.

Isn't there something I'm meant to be lucky at? Once again my superb team of Noldor elves has failed me. I suspect the Curse of Mandos had further reaching consequences than even that far sighted Valar could guess at.

Tonight I get to be socialble and am off to watch Wrestlemania at 'Muffin's along with Korvar, Agent Grey and others. I'm not really a fan of American Wrestling but this is a spectacle and will fit in well with my bad taste in TV habits.

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James Garner I'm not

It's approximately 1.15 pm. The Poker Night started at 8pm, broke up at about 11pm and I was knocked out at about 9.45pm. At least I wasn't last. The wooden spoon went to Double-Barrel, closely followed by Cool Car guy. Agent Grey was next and then it was a while until I was out. Then, simultaneously, it was Map Man and Laid Back Guy on the same hand. It was a tense last three and you could cut the atmosphere with a spatula! The winners, in reverse order, were Rules Monkey, FactorX and Socialite. They walked away with £7.50, £15 and £22.50 respectively. Much fun. It was decided afterwards that we'd have another in mid April.

Afterwards Double-Barrel and myself played some chess, myself in the manner of the Waco Kid from Blazing Saddles. (i.e. I lost and was drunk.) Yes, that's right folks, to get back to the early traditions of this Blogg, I'm posting whilst slightly sloshed! (Well almost. The Ubergeek is online at this precise moment so I'm writing this on Notepad and saving it for later.)

I'd also like to take the time to thank Agent Grey and 'Muffin for taking me on a wasted trip to Toys 'R' Us today. The plan was to find some toy money in case we didn't have enough Poker Chips. Not only was there insufficient kiddie money for our needs but Rules Monkey brought along more than enough chips. Cheers guys. :)

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With Aploogies to Oscar Hammerstein and Jerome Kern

That Old Dungeon Master

The old Dungeon Master, that old Dungeon Master,
He don’t play nothin’, but he keeps on runnin’
That old Dungeon Master, he just keeps rolling those dice.

He don’t play GURPS,
And we all know he don’t play Mage.
But them that play ’em, are soon forgotten, that
Old Dungeon Master, he just keeps rolling those dice, oh yes he does.

You and me, we hack and slash,
Our characters all achin’ and racked with pain, now listen!
Lift that chest, you’d better, kill that mook,
And if ya’ fumble it a little,
You’ll be reachin' for the book.

I’m so weary, and sick of tryin’,
I’m tired of gennin’, but afraid of dyin’.
That, that god-darn’ Dungeon Master, he just keeps rolling those dice.
Keep on rollin’ those dice.

Keep on rollin’ those dice.
Old Dungeon Master don’t you stop your way.
Keep on runnin’ from the north, the south, the east or west,
You gotta roll it ...


Originally it was going to be titled Old Games Master but I decided I needed a focus.

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League News

I'm beginning to suspect that my Bloodbowl Team is somehow spiritually linked to Dundee FC. Both are "Premiership" teams (although the BBL is only premier due to it's being the only one) and both are in serious financial difficulty and oh yes, both are incapable of winning a match. I lost again today, 4-1, hammered by Socialite's Coffin Dodgers. What am I doing wrong? This time I didn't make any prize money even!

In other news...there isn't any! Although in the past I've compared my life to Charlie Brown's at least he managed to get a kite stuck in a tree or something on a weekly basis. Ho-hum.

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Food, drink and chat

Spent an evening faffing 'round at The King and Dead Princess' place last night. Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy were in attendance and the craic was mighty. I wish I could cook like The King but I'll just have to settle for eating is food instead.

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Elf on Elf action

Once again, Feanor's lads have come a cropper. Losing today against the Speedy Saplings , another Elf team, 3-4. Feanor said today that it was the worst thing that had happened since losing the Silmarils. Star passer, Curufin, said,"On the bright side, the only way is up!" Curufin, who leads the league in completed passes by about ten from his nearest rival declined to comment on rumors of his leaving for the Vixens.

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C-c-c-cold

I've just spent the best part of an hour standing outside the union waiting for people who didn't get the message that the Hacky, Slashy Death had been cancelled. It was very, very cold. I'm off back to bed.

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Point of View, Obi-Wan Style

"A great deal of the truths we hold dear greatly depend on our point of view."
- Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi, Star Wars, Episode VI, The Empire Strikes Back

I'm feeling a bit down. I'm going to try something new and a bit daft.

Old
I am 30 years old. I have no girlfriend. I'm a failure and therefore unhappy.

New
I am 30 years old. I'm a confirmed bachelor. I'm a success and therefore happy.

By changing my point of view about my relationship status, by changing from being down about having no relationship entanglements to being happy about avoiding them, I hope to cheer myself up. I don't think this worked for Luke when Obi-Wan tried this line on about Vader "killing" his dad but Star Wars taught me all I know and it's all I can think of right now.

(If this doesn't work I may have to give Misogyny or Gynophobia a go)

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Wrong again...

I watched 7 back to back and have just stopped. My poor wee brain...Roughly 12 hours of Napoleonic Era seafaring action. Cool. Now sleep.

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Or I could not...

The best (or in my case least) laid plans etc. I've decided, instead, to watch three episodes of Hornblower back to back. A far better use of my time.

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There's No Satisfying Some People

There isn't. You pull out all the stops. You get munchies. Provide a genial host and so on and your first movie of the night gets booed off. I ask you. Really, didn't the name of the evening give it away? A Beer and Bad Movies night. Santa Claus vs The Martians should have been watched to completion! It was a true bad movie up there with Prince of Space and other such fodder for MST3K. Rant done. (For further info on BaBM04 check out Slacker's Blog as he's done all the work.)

Despite the rant BaBM04 was great. All sorts of nonsense, friends and booze. I had a great night and I hope everyone else did too. Now I must pay for my fun with tidying. Damn. I'll probably be at it 'til 2am if I start now. Ah well.

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